First, we build a team. Who is part of the collaborative team depends on the issues involved in the case. For example, a couple with no children would not require a Child Specialist, and a couple with no assets would not need a Financial Neutral.

The team is initially made up of the two parties and their attorneys. In the initial meeting, everyone signs a Participation Agreement, defines their hopes and motivations for how they want the process to proceed, addresses any issues that need immediate attention, and talks about what additional team members may be needed.

Other possible team members, all collaboratively trained, may include a Divorce Coach to help with communication, a Child Specialist for parenting issues, and a Financial Neutral for financial matters.

Once the team is in place, the next step is gathering information. Decisions cannot be made without a full understanding of finances, parenting needs, and other relevant details.

After that, we define each person’s interests. This means identifying what matters most to each of you so that any final agreement reflects those priorities as much as possible.

From there, we move into developing and evaluating options. You will look at different ways to resolve the issues and work toward an agreement.

Finally, the agreements are put into legal form, signed, and filed with the court.

This is addressed in the Participation Agreement.

In general, documents created during the collaborative process, such as appraisals or financial reports, cannot be used outside the process.

However, if both parties agree, those documents can be used later. This often happens because people want to avoid paying for the same work twice.

Documents that already existed, such as tax returns, bank statements, and pay stubs, are not restricted.

Start by talking with a collaborative attorney.

If you have not yet told your spouse about your decision, it can be helpful to first develop a plan for how to approach that conversation.

There are several ways to begin. You and your spouse can meet with an attorney to learn about the process. An attorney can write a letter inviting your spouse to participate. You can also share information about collaborative law for them to review.

Every situation is different, but it is usually best to talk with an attorney first and then decide on the right approach.

A Divorce Coach is a collaboratively trained professional who helps both parties communicate more effectively and stay focused on the process.

The Coach can also help you work through parenting issues and develop a plan that supports your children’s emotional and psychological well-being.

In some cases, a Child Specialist may also be involved to bring in the child’s perspective.

In my experience, having a Divorce Coach is an important part of the process. Even a few meetings can make a meaningful difference, and having that relationship in place can help if things become more difficult later.

There are two main benefits. Cost savings and clarity.

A Financial Neutral gathers and organizes all financial information in one place. This avoids duplication of work that often happens in a traditional legal process, where each attorney collects and reviews the same information separately.

The Financial Neutral also helps evaluate different scenarios so you can understand the financial impact of different options.

This role helps streamline the process and supports better decision-making.

No. Each member of the collaborative team must be collaboratively trained.

It is also important that the Financial Neutral be truly neutral. If one person already has an established relationship with a financial professional and the other does not, it can create an imbalance.

In many cases, allowing both parties to select a neutral professional together helps build trust in the process.

One of the first things we do as a team is talk about pace.

How quickly things move depends less on the professionals and more on how quickly both people gather information and how ready each person is to make decisions.

It is also important that both people are emotionally ready. If not, it may make sense to slow the process down rather than rushing to decisions.

My role is to help you get the information you need to make informed decisions.

Most cases do not go to trial. They resolve either through agreement or through pressure in the court system. That is not the approach I take.

If there are children involved, my goal is to help parents move through this transition in a way that supports better communication moving forward.

I want the outcome to reflect what matters most to you so that the agreement is something you can live with and follow.

The alternative is to go to court and have decisions made by a judge. In my experience, that often leads to outcomes that do not work well for either party and may create more conflict later.

The collaborative process allows us to bring in outside professionals as needed.

This may include a Financial Neutral, Divorce Coach, or other specialists depending on your situation.

These professionals help gather information, provide guidance, and support decision-making in a way that is more efficient and often less expensive than a traditional legal process.

You will work directly with your attorney.

Administrative tasks, such as scheduling or document preparation, may be handled by support staff to help manage costs, but your primary relationship will be with your attorney.

Time is billed in six-minute increments.

This depends on many factors, including your situation, your spouse’s situation, how quickly information is gathered, and what work needs to be done.

Because of these variables, it is not possible to give a reliable estimate upfront.

What we can do is check in regularly about cost throughout the process to make sure you feel you are getting value and that the process stays aligned with your priorities.

Yes. There are several organizations that provide information about collaborative law, including:

• International Association of Collaborative Professionals

• Collaborative Professionals of Washington

• King County Collaborative Law

• Cascadia Collaborative Divorce

• Compass